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Johnny & Madeleine Get The Horn
hormonal observations 
30th-Jan-2006 03:42 pm
I've been thinking about stone butches of late, my own relationship to "stone" (not being touched sexually) and how that has changed with hormonal changes. Ok, so when I first started shagging girls, I was definitely the "do-er". I wasn't into being fucked at all, or even touched there particularly. I relaxed a lot over the years but I was still always the one that started it off. It was sort of like my bits were an afterthought.

Then testosterone came along. Pretty much over night I changed. I suddenly really couldn't see the point of using a dildo. It didn't make sense anymore. I couldn't feel it! I wanted a cock, not some bit of silicone! Fucking someone was just a means to an end, I wanted my giblét sucked. Fucking men suddenly made sense for the first time in my life because, I realised, they could take care of their own orgasms. There wouldn't be that time when I had to think about anyone but myself and my own incrediable horn. Sometimes I found fucking stopped making sense altogether and I jsut wanted to wank and get off. This didn't, as you can imagine, make me a very sensitive lover.

Other changes. I could fancy women I'd never met. People off the telly, films, Buffy.. I could wank just at the thought of fucking them with a cock. No scenarios, no build up, no story. Just thinking about fucking.

Now I've been off testosterone for over two years and I'm somewhere in the middle. I can pretty much come from fucking with a dildo again, it makes sense to me. My own bits are fun, but don't get me off as much as making someone else come does. I don't fancy anonymous women anymore but do tend to "fall in love" ridiculously easily. In fact, my fantasies tend to be embarrassingly romantic and elaborate rather than just thinking of a physical act.

So what of this? I dunno. I just wanted to right down the differences because I don't know anyone else similar.
30th-Jan-2006 04:18 pm (UTC)
I find how I'm wired changes depending on who I'm with. Don't think I'd come from fucking with a cock though, I'm more of an inny than an outy by preference.

Do you think it was exclusively hormones that had that effect, or do you think evolving ID had a part to play?
31st-Jan-2006 09:14 am (UTC)
I would have put it down to evolving ID, had I not come off the testosterone and felt similar to before I started it. At soem point I shall be going back on it and, when I do, I will tie you up and wank over your tits. I think that'll be conclusive evidence.
31st-Jan-2006 09:27 am (UTC)
Splendid. Will you be tying me to a tree by one ankle and minotauring me as well?
31st-Jan-2006 09:28 am (UTC)
Splendid. Will you be tying me to a tree by one ankle and minotauring me as well?
31st-Jan-2006 10:10 am (UTC)
I don't usually like it when people write that they misread other people's posts (much like I also get irritated at those TV fuck-up programmes where actors get the giggles) but I misread your post as "moisturising me". One and the same, I suppose.

31st-Jan-2006 11:19 am (UTC)
I think I have textual Tourette's. If I'm not paying attention I will see 'cook with tarragon' and read 'crack whore turpentine' or something equally unlikely.

It makes me worry about what's going on in my subconscious.
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